oh, sure, when SPIDERMAN leaps from rooftop to rooftop, performing death-defying extreme parkour stunts as he swings through the city, he’s “a hero” and “protecting the city”, but when i do it i’m “illegally trespassing on private property” and “a menace to society”, THAT’S how it is, huh,

peter parker said this in civilian clothing

yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

Jellyfish

*refresh the page if not in sync*

Miles: We’re here today with twenty year old Peter Porker, better known as Spider Ham, who defeated the villain, the Green Goblin. How did you do it, Mr Porker?

Ham: *in thick Chicago accent* So I used the Bittenbinder method

royal-zach

so in psychology class we got to learn why foot fetishes are so prevelant! basically your brain stores the structural information for your body generally in the correct order (i.e. the info for your ears is stored next to the info for the head, which is stored next to the neck, etc.) BUT. The info for the feet is stored right next to the info for the genitalia and so sometimes these two sections of information can overlap and make you wanna lick some toes

thanks, i hate it

image

Normally when y’all post this kinda shit it’s blatantly incorrect, but I’m angry to say that this one is absolutely factual

“How would you describe your taste in podcasts?”

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see also:

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The glow up of the century ✨

Me, listening to any podcast that isn’t Wolf 359:

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We saved our honeymoon!

bethanyactually:
“ givemeunicorns:
“ weepingwilo:
“ mikekingvividkonception:
“ volatilequeen:
“ The distractions…
”
Shit is crazy out here
”
I swear I was just talking to my mom about how no one is talking about Flint anymore as if the water problem...

The distractions…

Shit is crazy out here

weepingwilo

I swear I was just talking to my mom about how no one is talking about Flint anymore as if the water problem has ceased. Smdh

As of 12 Jan 2019, only two of the above links still work, so if you feel moved to donate check out United Way or Community Foundation of Greater Flint

Also, this reminded me that I wanted to change my Amazon Smile donation to something that would help Flint, so I changed it so a portion of my purchases will be donated to the Community Foundation of Greater Flint.

The holy podcast trio of “be gay, do crimes”- Daniel Jacobi, Akmazian, Peter Nureyev

can we give it up for Suzanne Collins for fucking off into oblivion with her money after hunger games fucking destroyed the YA market for like 6 years. everything YA was dystopian “EVERYONES IN A DIFFERENT QUADRANT” shit from 2010 to 2016 and we didnt hear a peep from her. true fucking power.

kayla-bird:
“ linkstan:
“ violentwavesofemotion:
“Plato, tr. by W. R. Paton, from “Greek Anthology; Epigrams,” published c. 1918
”
PLATO SAID “LESBIAN RIGHTS!” ”
“fucking superb you funky little lesbian” - plato
”

Plato, tr. by W. R. Paton, from “Greek Anthology; Epigrams,” published c. 1918

linkstan

PLATO SAID “LESBIAN RIGHTS!”

“fucking superb you funky little lesbian” - plato

when i realize i misread a situation and was being petty for no reason

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imperially

I can’t relate to this because I’m always right

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